I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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