My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
