I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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