Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

can u grab me a application

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(586): View more from Michigan

Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app

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(601): View more from Mississippi

We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.

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(317): View more from Indiana

1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you

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(303): View more from Colorado

Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.

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