The maid of honor just puked.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
