I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
