So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
