just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
