planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
