We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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