How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
