Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
