mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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