there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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