Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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