doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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