Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
