i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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