How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
