it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
