**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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