you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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