Tell her she can't have a vagina
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
