i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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