what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i would punch a child for taco bell
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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