She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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