on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my sisters under your porch take her home
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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