I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
