The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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