i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
