I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
