even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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