While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
