Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize