If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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