HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
