Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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