i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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