You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
