p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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