did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
