I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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