Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch

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  (318): That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch http://tfl.nu/faw2
  Replies (4) Good night (1407) Bad night (663)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

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  (212): Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did! http://tfl.nu/gcyx
  Replies (26) Good night (4163) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

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  (508): member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games? http://tfl.nu/dghf
  Replies (21) Good night (1594) Bad night (3130)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

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  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (18933) Bad night (1610)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved

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  (516): its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved http://tfl.nu/wek7
  Replies (11) Good night (5452) Bad night (1481)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea

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  (516): In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea http://tfl.nu/v7d1
  Replies (21) Good night (1537) Bad night (5282)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.

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  (484): we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song. http://tfl.nu/huqy
  Replies (10) Good night (4795) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay

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  (512): Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay http://tfl.nu/t4tt
  Replies (9) Good night (4566) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.

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  (774): Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider. http://tfl.nu/cq9b
  Replies (1) Good night (1261) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.

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  (951): I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day. http://tfl.nu/elsi
  Replies (3) Good night (1973) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat

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  (440): I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat http://tfl.nu/9vl7
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (674)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce

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  (404): I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce http://tfl.nu/fuvv
  Replies (8) Good night (1301) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.

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  (513): My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck. http://tfl.nu/0395
  Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.

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  (805): Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch. http://tfl.nu/6qlc
  Replies (6) Good night (781) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am

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  (781): Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am http://tfl.nu/o7ys
  Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (267)

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