omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.