Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy

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  (757): Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy http://tfl.nu/p6z3
  Replies (29) Good night (868) Bad night (5070)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.

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  (615): In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky. http://tfl.nu/u0v1
  Replies (34) Good night (4201) Bad night (923)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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  (817): You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time http://tfl.nu/ixfn
  Replies (44) Good night (7358) Bad night (4050)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?

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  (260): Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on? http://tfl.nu/ottv
  Replies (5) Good night (3933) Bad night (1069)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.

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  (832): Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face. http://tfl.nu/c54m
  Replies (5) Good night (3033) Bad night (4239)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..

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  (519): i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me.. http://tfl.nu/onqg
  Replies (2) Good night (3134) Bad night (1332)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.

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  (605): After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it. http://tfl.nu/6bjl
  Replies (6) Good night (2269) Bad night (831)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I have surprise drugs for everyone

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  (404): I have surprise drugs for everyone http://tfl.nu/7gjj
  Replies (11) Good night (2795) Bad night (924)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?

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  (217): Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/sask
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (1791)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.

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  (406): You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic. http://tfl.nu/4fes
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (623)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...

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  (803): thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling... http://tfl.nu/yt8z
  Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (491)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  Yupp. And someone's bleeding

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  (262): And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right? (1-262): Yupp. And someone's bleeding http://tfl.nu/ez4o
  Replies (1) Good night (1130) Bad night (401)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.

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  (321): She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess. http://tfl.nu/6wvy
  Replies (14) Good night (684) Bad night (2069)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.

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  (423): I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor. http://tfl.nu/3542
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (290)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.

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  (319): Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero. http://tfl.nu/gstb
  Replies (3) Good night (925) Bad night (251)

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