just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
