She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
