Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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