Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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