At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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