Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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