in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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