I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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