tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am spending my child support on dildos
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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