youre lurking in front of me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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