i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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