Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize