it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize