You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
