yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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