You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize