i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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