Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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