Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
