its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I want her autograph on my taint
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
All the doctor said was why
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
