i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can't put those talents on a resume
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
