I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
