She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize