Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
