I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
