The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
